Outnumbered!

The adults are officially outnumbered in our house now. I was very blessed to have been able to spend the last two weeks home from work with the expanding family. It was terrific. Here’s the rundown on the last two weeks:

• The induction started at around 7:30am on 11/5/2009. By 12:30pm, we had a baby girl. It was fast and Denisa rocked. I am again reminded of my wife’s awesomeness.
• Our little Norah is beautiful. She’s sleeping and eating well. She has a couple of very loving older brothers.
• The hospital stay was calm and uneventful. We had great visitors. Due to the whole flu scare, kids under 15 weren’t allowed as visitors so, sadly, Jesse and Jonah couldn’t come see us. On the other hand, that meant the hospital was a lot quieter than when we’ve been there before. Previously, there were kids running up and down the hallway.
• Visited with a lot of friends/family.
• A lot of people have been bringing us food. A LOT. Friends from our current Life Group, our old Life Group, MOPS, parents, and the play group. Seriously, it’s been amazing and we are truly grateful (and full).
• I had guy’s morning out and took the boys to Half Price Books and the hobby shop. We played with the hobby shop’s train tables, checked out their train sets, stared at the RC planes hanging from the ceiling, and seriously trashed a couple planes with the RC plane video game/simulator.
• The whole family went to the Indianapolis Children’s Museum. Brave. Good times.
• Had the first guys meeting from our new Life Group.
• Had a bunch of siding re-done.
• Read some P.G. Wodehouse and a couple Graphic Novels.
• Finished writing a children’s story.
• Did a little woodworking.
• Didn’t really sleep all that much.

I’ll get pictures posted shortly.

Exhaustion

I don’t often use this blog for journaling. That is, simply documenting the events of my usually uneventful life. But these last couple weeks have been pretty intense in a lot of different ways. I’m feeling it physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I thought I’d share. If nothing else, it’ll be cathartic for me. Still, I don’t want to get too personal.

I have a close buddy. We’ve been friends since the fourth grade. We played on the same little league teams. We played GI Joe together. Our families vacationed together. His family was and is like a second family to me. Anyway, several years ago, his Mom--this second Mom to me--was diagnosed with cancer. Two weeks ago, I visited her and the family in hospice care. She passed away soon afterward and the funeral was last week. That hit me hard. I don’t really know how to put into words all that I was and am feeling. Sorrow. Fear. A tinge of anger. And, strangely, a little happiness that her terrible, valiant struggle is over and her earthy chains are gone.

…

I had more about the physical and mental exhaustion but, you know what, never mind.

A Prayer

The purpose of this post is twofold. First, it's of a purging of what I've been unable to voice. Secondly, I had the opportunity to say a prayer amongst a group of friends over this past weekend. We'd just attended the funeral of a very close friend and there were a lot things I wanted to say. Once I started, the tears welled up and I sputtered through something that was altogether shorter and crammed with "ums" and "ahs". I'm certain God knows what was on my heart and I'm pretty sure my friends knew what I intended. Still, if the gang is reading this, it may clear up what was previous masked by my quivering lower lip. I apologize for the butchered wording and grammar. I'd like to think God won't deduct points for sentence splices, fragments, and punctuation.

Likewise, I'm not going to pretend to be a theologian and I hope my thoughts and beliefs are not completely ungrounded.

Father,

I come to you flooded with emotions. I'm in shock. Overwhelmed. I'm triply hurt. I hurt for BK, beautiful, fiery BK. I hurt for BT, a friend so much stronger than I. And I hurt because my BSU friends...people who have gotten me through some of the darkest periods in my life...people I love and consider family...people I would do anything for...are hurting. The tears come so easily. My foundation has been shaken.

Lord, I'm afraid. Afraid of such circumstances that can take someone so young and so valuable so quickly. Afraid that such a tragedy could happen to anyone. Afraid of how fragile something so precious as life can be.

Lord, there are few things that really anger me. But I am furious right now. Angry at the fallen world so full of peril. And I'm angry at you, Father. I feel you've stolen a friend! Because of you, another friend is now a widower. I feel you've personally attacked my family! Finally, I'm angry that I am completely powerless.

As strange as it may sound to many, Father, I take comfort in you. Through your son, Jesus Christ, you conquered death. Even in death, there is hope. The spirit lives on and death is a mere affliction of the earthly body. In fact, death is often referred to in scripture as nothing more than sleeping. While accepting that is so much easier said than done...especially in this time of darkness...I'm comforted in knowing BK is no longer troubled by the suffering of this world. In Luke 23:43, Jesus tells the thief "today you will be with me in paradise." There was no delay. As I type this, I have little doubt BK is in paradise. Likewise, I am comforted by the belief that, one day, our BSU family will be united in full. Matthew 8:11 states many "shall sit down with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, in the kingdom of heaven". If I will recognize and with Abraham...why not the gang? Perhaps we're share some world-infamous "Out of Bounds" nachos. On second thought, perhaps we'll skip the nachos.

I lift up BK's family. I especially pray for You to bring peace and healing to BT. As overwhelmed as I am, they are going through so much more. Father, bless my friends with your healing. Give us comfort. Give us peace. Help us to come to terms with what has happened. Allow us to move from dwelling on this tragedy to remembering BK for her laugh, her joy, her strength, and even her southern phrases that made so little sense to us. Guide us to where we can be thankful for the few blessed years we had with BK. Help us to cherish the moments we have with each other.

I wonder want BK would think of this grief. Would she think it silly. Would she prefer a party to the Beatles over sobbing to a hymn.

Amen.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. - Matthew 5:4

So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. - John 16:22


He will swallow up death forever. The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears from all faces; - Isaiah 25: 8a

Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God Who gave it. - Ecclesiastes 12:7

Jesus answered him, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise." - Luke 23:43

Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. - 2 Corinthians 5:1

The parable of the rich man and Lazarus. - Luke 16: 19-31

And I say unto you, That many shall come from the east and west, and shall sit down with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, in the kingdom of heaven. - Matthew 8:11

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Why is it so much easier to accept my own mortality than it is to deal with the mortality of a friend?