Months!

It's been months since I've posted anything. Not really sure why. I think I've just been distracted by...well...a lot of stuff. Maybe I was testing to see who noticed my absence and said something. If that were the case, every single one of you failed. Miserably. Not that I'm keeping track.

Some quick updates:

1. The boys are growing like crazy. Jonah has passed through crawling to cruising in a blink. He's a determined little guy. Jonah's first birthday as well as his dedication at church is in just a couple weeks. Jesse is full of questions and curiosity. He's sleeping in a big boy bed and even memorizing Bible verses. Amazing!

2. I banged up my Honda Civic on my commute home in February. Poor Rhonda ended up totaled. She was a loyal friend (not that you would know anything about loyalty) and I miss her. This prompted me to buy another car. The new ride is another Civic EX. It's pretty close to what I had...just black and with 2-doors instead of 4. We'll call it the (semi) sporty version of Rhonda. I got a great deal on it. I haven't named it yet. Maybe Coop. Or Cooper.

3. Worked on and completed another sculpture. I'll get pictures and details posted shortly.

4. We refinanced our mortgage and started college funds for the boys. We've been meaning to do both for awhile. With rates low and investments on sale, it seemed like prime time to get going. I think this put us working on Dave Ramsey's Baby Step #6 (Payoff home).

5. More reading. I finished the last of the Narnia books by C.S. Lewis. I love Lewis. Good stuff. I also read Me, Myself, and Bob: A True Story About Dreams, God, and Talking Vegetables by Phil Vischer. This book was a look behind the creation of Veggie Tales. And interesting story of a man pursuing his mission. I think that's it. Currently, I'm reading Story by Robert McKee and Jesus Among Other Gods: The Absolute Claims of the Christian Message by Ravi Zacharias. both are pretty intense.

6. Pondering my next creative endeavor. Sculpture? Graphic Novel? Not sure.

Sorry I don't have more pictures. Here's a start.

A Friday Without Donuts

Here's something I started...oh, I don't know...months ago. It's a short, short story in the vien of the classic Choose Your Own Adventure novels. I think it's a fun idea and I may expand on it later. We'll see. For now, it's just a little Choose Your Own Adventure diversion. Enjoy!


Read A Friday Without Donuts

You are a Systems Engineer living in the Midwest. You awaken one Friday morning to find yourself still completely exhausted from playing your newest European agriculture-themed board game until 3 am the previous night. Still, it’s breakfast day at the office and you want to get in before all the cinnamon rolls are gone. It’s going to be a rough morning but you lurch out of bed anyway.

The commute is uneventful. In fact, were you more alert, you would likely think it a little too uneventful. You arrive but don’t notice the lack of traffic or that all the stoplights are flashing an ominous yellow.

There are only a few cars in the parking lot but that’s not unusual this early in the day. You park up front and stumble to the sidewalk. On the street, an ambulance and a fire truck race by, sirens blaring. You get a funny chill along your spine and you suddenly remember the strangeness of the drive. You wish you’d bothered to listen to the radio.

A movement catches your eye and you look to the entrance of the office. There’s a man just out of the gaze of the streetlight. He’s moving but not saying anything. You tell yourself that he's probably one of the construction crew trying to get to the building's remodeling project. Still, there's something in the air that makes your skin crawl. Maybe it's that terrible stench...like one of the local office geese hissed it's last defense nearby.


If you choose to approach the man, go to page 2.
If you choose to sneak around to the back door, go to page 3.

1

You choose to see if the guy’s alright.

“Hey!” you shout. “Do you need some help?”

The man hesitates for a moment like he’s unsure he heard you correctly. He’s still in the shadows but you hear him shuffling around. Probably looking for identification or something. He steps into the light and you see it’s actually one of the sales guys from the next office.

“You ok, Roy?”

“Rargh,” Roy mumbles as he approaches. You see his clothes are dirty and his normally impeccable blond hair is caked with blood. His shoulder seems to be hanging a little off-kilter. Also, there's a knife sticking out of it.

Roy is a zombie. You weren’t exactly Roy’s best friend before. You feel even less inclined to like him, now.


If you choose to run, go to page 4.
If you choose to fight, go to page 5.
2

You opt for the path of a coward and force your shame deep into your yellow-bellied gut. You quietly round the corner but take a peak back to see the stranger step into the light. It’s Roy, one of the sales guys from next door. You've just begun to breathe a sigh of relief when Roy topples down the stairs. His arm snaps backwards has he hits the bottom step. There’s jagged bone protruding from his forearm but Roy is surprisingly unfazed.

Also, there’s a knife sticking out of his shoulder.

Your sigh of relief turns into a gasp of disgraceful (remember, you’re a coward...you’ll always be one) fright. Your gasp catches Roy’s attention and he turns your direction. He’s slow and uncoordinated but definitely clear in his intentions. He’s heading your way, mumbling.

“B…B…Brains.” Clearly, Roy is a zombie.

You turn and run (sound familiar?).


If you run for the back door of the office, turn to page 6.
If you run for the car, turn to page 4.
3

You choose to bolt for your car...it has never judged you for your cowardice. You’re out of shape but think you can make it. You’re right. You reach the car long before Roy.

Within seconds, you’ve locked yourself in the car and have the engine running. Even with the door and the window between you, Roy doesn’t seem discouraged. You gun the engine and the tires squeal.

Your car rockets forward, leaving Roy in the dust. Unfortunately, you’re not exactly in the practice of flooring your car in your office’s darkened parking lot. You misjudge the distance to the end of the parking lot and soon find yourself launching your poor sedan over the curb. The hill is steep and your speed too fast. You’re in the retention pond almost instantly.

You struggle with the door but it’s jammed. The window works and your chances at freedom look pretty good. Of course, Roy is also guessing his chances of getting at your brains are pretty good right now, too. He’s in the water and wading your direction.

I’d give you the choice between drowning and being a brain-eaten statistic but that seems almost cruel. Too bad.


Start Over
4

You reach for the only thing you have that could remotely serve as a weapon: your thermos of coffee. It’s not much but it is stainless steel and you hope a good bludgeoning will make zombie Roy think twice about breakfasting on your brains.

You cautiously approach Roy, thermos at the ready. The creature lunges, icy fingers clawing at your throat. Fortunately, your scarf protects your head and neck. You swing the thermos and you feel it connect with Roy's skull. He staggers, stunned by the force of the steel. Several teeth fall from his mouth. You wonder about what kind of threat a toothless zombie poses but only just a moment. Roy lunges again. This time, you’re more prepared and jab at his face. The built-in cup of the thermos tumbles to the ground but not before you’ve successfully wounded Roy’s eyes. He claws at his own face but soon falls and writhes at your feet.

You’re feeling pretty good about yourself. I mean, you’re breathing heavily but at least you’re not sweating. You retrieve your thermos cup and return to your car. Roy’s spasms have slowed but he seems to be making no indications of more attacks. You pour yourself some of your homemade joe and take a breather.

It’s not until it’s too late that you discover that both your thermos and the cup were contaminated with Roy’s zombie germs. Within hours you’re a zombie. Unlike Roy, though, you're stuck in your car, lacking the motor skills to operate those tiny door lock plunger things

Way to go.


Start Over
5

You opt to hightail to the office’s back door. It seems like a good idea because as the dead are notorious slow on their feet. And that knife in Roy's shoulder can’t be good for his speed.

You reach the back door and fumble with your key fob for a brief instant. Your access is denied.

“Crap,” you mumble under your breath. “I’ve been fired and no one bothered to tell me.”

Roy isn’t too far back, now. His life-status hasn't slowed him up as much as you’d like. You try the fob again and, again, you’re denied. Maybe you shouldn't have made such a stink about your last project assignment. The car looks like it would’ve been a much better idea.

“Rrrargh!” Roy is all but upon you and the only thing in your hand is a keychain and a thermos.


If you choose to fight, go to page 5.
If you choose to run for the car, go to page 4.
6

Money won. Money spent.

I recently participated in a writing contest hosted by the Professional Cool blog. I'm proud to say I won. This is actually the first time my writing has actually paid off and I'm a dollar richer because of it. Of course, I think I was the only entry but that's the kind of contests where I can really excel. In short, though, the challenge involved writing a 200 word story about how bad of a situation a lost dollar could create. My story will be posted below.

What am I going to do with my new-found cash? I'll be honest, I've already spent it. In fact, I spent that dollar plus another two purchasing the cheapest baking sheet I could find at the local super center. I know that seems like a strange thing to splurge on. I mean, I could've been using it to buy candy, soda, or one-eighth of an Automoblox mini now being sold at Target stores (those are...so...cool). Strangely, the baking sheet counts as a non-cooking hobby/art expense as I'll be using it to bake various Sculpey projects. I figured the baking sheet is going to get nasty and gross over time and wanted something dedicated to Sculpey rather than something we'd later want to use in making cookies or something. Anyway, I used the baking sheet for the first time last night in the first round of baking my next project. I hope to complete and post pictures of that project in the near future.

Anyway, the story:

Rod McDurmitt is walking through the office with a cup of hot coffee. Being of the clumsy sort, Rob trips over his shoelace and takes a tumble into a bookcase. Several outdated programming books topple onto Rod and he suffers severe head trauma and extreme swelling around the head and neck. Fortunately, someone trained in handling that sort of thing—we'll call him Rhett—is available. Rhett quickly assesses the situation and springs into action. He produces a small penknife from his pocket and, using his own glasses to focus the light of the sun (pouring into the office via several large windows) into a beam of burning cleanser, he sterilizes the blade. In seconds, Rhett has begun and emergency tracheotomy on his coworker. But Rhett has nothing to use as a tracheostomy tube. No empty pen. No stir sticks (the coffee service is late this week). Nothing.

"Does anyone have a dollar bill and I roll and use?" he cries.

"I do. Just a sec," another coworker, Mavid, responds. There's a pause. "Well…there was a dollar bill here just the other day. I wonder what happened to it."

The story does not end well for Rod.