Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father's Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood

Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father's Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood
by Robert Lewis
Focus
ISBN 1589973097

I have two sons. One will be two years old in November. The other was born just this past May. Raising these two guys is painfully important to me. And I deliberately use the work painfully as is pains me to think about the consequences if I don't raise them to the very best of my ability. I guess that concern is a good starting point but I want more.

Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father's Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood by Robert Lewis was mentioned in a conversation with a coworker and I am grateful for that. I appreciate that mention as I really, really liked this book.

As you would expect from the title, Lewis uses the idea of medieval knighthood as an ongoing analogy. The romanticized/idealized knight of olde was a chivalrous, honorable, courageous man in an age wrought with greed and darkness. But these knights didn't just become knights. It required years of teaching and training. There was a defined process. There was a ceremony to mark knighthood. Similarly, we can't expect our boys to simply become men. Manhood, in Western society, is very, very different. Genuine manhood is not something that's often actively taught, or even defined. The concept is clouded in ambiguity. What is a man? How does a man act? When does a boy become a man? Sons need guidance and direction.

That direction comes from scripture and Lewis draws heavily on the Bible to define manhood and how a man should act. He details what's missing from Western culture and lays out a plan for fathers wanting to raise sons to be Godly men. The overarching theme is that Dad's need to be deliberate in their fatherhood. Pulling directly from Lewis, men reject passivity, accept responsibility, lead courageously, and expect the greater reward. This is how men should act and this is how men address fatherhood. This is how fathers remove the ambiguity regarding manhood. This is how our sons know we truly care about their growth.

I also liked the Lewis is a big supporter of ceremonies. Similar to a page becoming a squire and a squire becoming a knight, fathers ought to mark a son's transitional periods. When a squire was knighted, there was no uncertainty as to what was happening. The new knight was honored and celebrated. Similarly, we should celebrate our sons. We remove yet another ambiguity. With a ceremony, sons know their lives are changing. If marking a transition to manhood, they know they're putting away their childish ways. They know that, going forward, they'll be expected to act like a man and they'll be treated as a men. Investing time and effort into this will prove to them that it's the big deal that it should be. They will want to meet those expectations.

There is so, so much more I could write here but you're much better off just reading the book. I've taken it to heart. While my sons are very young and I'm a little limited in what I can explicitly teach them (we have worked on a couple of the Biblical ideals -- kindness and perseverance) -- defined by Lewis) , I know the other things will come soon enough. My first step, though, is to be the kind of man I want my sons to be. My boys are watching how I live with incredible closeness. They're learning from me without my sitting down and directly instructing them...maybe more from my example than anything I'll teach.

While it was definitely written for the father raising his sons, I really think it has a lot to offer others. Fathers of daughters. Husbands. Singles. Women.

If you'd like a second, better written review, check this one out at John Calvin's Ghost.