Canned Ham: Once in a Lifetime

This one sounds rather ominous:

Live Complete Life Today!!

I mean, what if I want to live my complete life as it happens? Why rush it?

Go for their head,
Retro Brett

Book Review: World War Z by Max Brooks

I recently finished reading Max Brook’s World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War and I must admit I liked it. The gist of the book is that it’s been several years since the Great Panic, a pandemic sized outbreak of zombie-ism (a word?). Essentially, mankind was nearly wiped out with the earth overrun by the undead. Even years after figuring out how to battle the threat, things are still a little shaky. Entire islands are still “white zones” and completely infested by zombies.

The book is well written and interesting. The nitty-gritty details of the Great Panic and mankind’s recovery are told in the manner of one individual interviewing numerous survivors. The “voices” of the interviewees sometimes blend together but that never detracted from the book and I actually really liked the format. The book definitely gives what feels like very personal accounts. It also offers a very wide variety of views ranging from dog trainers specializing in zombie recon to a blind Asian monk living in the wilderness to a family fleeing to the Arctic where zombies would freeze (though the do thaw just fine).

I did like that Brooks kept zombies in their place. There was no dressing them up into intelligent and agile predators to make them more threatening. No, these were the classic slow-moving creatures with poor motor skills and zero intellect. Being as “weak” as they are, you wouldn’t think they be a threat, would you? It’s like being pursued by a knife-wielding tree sloth, right? Wrong. Brooks manages to make the situation dire. For example, one interview involves a downed pilot having to hoof it up an overpass to reach a helicopter rendezvous. She has a leg injury and is pursued by zombies. This is problem enough. But then she encounters zombies reaching out at her from car windows despite being trapped by their own seatbelt. Creepy.

The sheer scale of World War Z is impressive, too. It's global and the event unfold over several years and isn't limited to a small group of people stuck in a farmhouse or holed up in a shopping mall. I also addresses questions that I often ask (and am asked by others). How would the military react to an undead enemy that never tires, has no emotion, and can not be threatened? Where would people go to escape? An island? Underground? What if outbreaks occurred there? Zombies don’t need to breathe, what about those that end up underwater?

A side note about that book involves some of the reviews I read on Amazon. Specifically, there were readers that claimed this book was leftist propaganda. There were other readers that claimed this book was rightist propaganda. There’s no doubt that Brooks makes some pretty heavy-handed insinuations about several groups and a number of unnamed but stereotyped people but I can’t say the book is either left or right. I think it would be more accurate to say he simply takes shots at things like the pride, stupidity, and greed that put mankind at risk.

If you like zombies, read the book. Interesting stuff. In the meantime, check out the risk calculator to see how likely you are to survive a zombie outbreak (I scored a measly 39%). Otherwise, remember to go for their head.

More like Funky Winker-MEAN (Part 2 of 2)

I greatly admire the really good cartoonists. I like the poignancy of Peanuts. The offbeat humor of The Far Side always gets me. And I’m amazed at how Calvin and Hobbes can make you laugh and make you think (perhaps I’ll follow up with another entry specifically on Bill Watterson and his creation). I know those three strips are no longer in development but let’s not forget that there are certainly some terrific comics in production today. I think Mr. Boffo by Joe Martin is terrific but surprisingly unknown. Speed Bump by Dave Coverly is interesting and works well. And Dilbert by Scott Adams reaches people that would never pick up the funny pages otherwise.

[Warning: rants ahead]

There’s a downside, of course. Maybe it’s because I love comics so much that it hurts so much to see them so...not good. My issues start with the newspapers themselves. Several decades ago, a decent Sunday paper might have a comics section of 30+ pages. And each of those Sunday strips might have half a page with which to work. Considering the real estate allotted to comics today, that’s astounding. I think the Indy Star, a reasonably “large” paper, prints something like six pages of Sunday funnies with the strips being little larger than the minuscule weekday strips. Add to that the fact that the first two panels (essentially the first line) of today’s Sundays have to be “throw away” work to be printed or not printed at the paper’s discretion and…well…it’s bad.

The other downside? The strips. They simply aren’t funny. Now I could probably read Flash Gordon, Tarzan, or Spider-Man but those aren’t intended to be funny. But, c’mon, has anyone read Funky Winkerbean in the last ten years? Seriously, alcoholism, cancer, chemotherapy, death, missing limbs, lost biological parents, etc. It sounds more like a season of Degrassi Junior High than anything funky. Of course, the odd thing is that I actually read Funky but only because the thing's a train wreck. Then there are the reprints of Peanuts. Reprints?! Not cool. It seems like most of what’s left in the funnies are heavy-handed political or social commentary. Asking readers to think about an issue is great. Unfortunately, so much of it now is the literary equivalent of a sucker punch in the face…with brass knuckles…embossed with some kind of bumper sticker-ism. Ugg. Don't we get enough of that from John Mellencamp?

I do have hope. Most notably, that hope springs from the web. Nowhere can one get their work “out there” as easily as on the web. The possibilities are endless. Online comics can be animated, any length, color, black and white, you name it. Sure, it creates even more competition for the printed strips. And, yes, the ease of online publishing has created a sea of junk which makes it difficult to find “the good stuff”. Mr. Boffo, Speed Bump, and Dilbert are all available online so that’s a plus. While I’m surfing, maybe I’ll find something else new and, you know, not painful.

Perhaps I’ll review the work of Scott McCloud and his views on web comics. Pretty interesting stuff. In the meantime, I’m breaking out The Authoratative Calvin and Hobbes and The Prehistory of the Far Side.

Maybe this should've been 3 parts.

More like Funky Winker-MEAN (Part 1 of 2)

I’ve always loved comics. I love comic books. I love comic strips. The former has been mentioned before. The latter probably hasn’t. Nevertheless, I remember being a little kid and spreading out the full color Sunday funny pages to pour over the funny pages. I still have a number of anthologies of my favorites, Calvin and Hobbes and The Far Side. Their creators, Bill Watterson and Gary Larson, respectively, inspired me to nurture my own creativity, writing, and artwork.

While I was in college, I had the opportunity to attend the triennial Festival of Cartoon Art at Ohio State University. That was 1998 (the list of events/speakers is still available online). For a comic guy, it really was a blast. Kind of my own one-man adventure. I heard the legendary Will Eisner (creator of The Spirit) speak. That alone would’ve been worth the trip. But that wasn’t it. I also heard and greatly enjoyed hearing Dave Coverly (creator of Speed Bump), Patrick McDonnell (of Mutz), and Ted Rall (editorial cartoonist for Rolling Stone, NY Times, Washington Post). My only regret is that I didn’t stick around for the second day to hear Jeff Smith (creator of Bone) and Art Spiegelman(creator of Maus). [Sigh] Unfortunately, I’ve only recently become interested in these last two artists and writers. FYI: The 2007 Festival of Cartoon Art is coming up near the end of October.

My love of comics went so far as to prompt me to submit my own comic strip for syndication. The strip was promptly turned down by…well…ALL the syndicates. It was heartbreaking but, looking at my old copies of that strip, I can certainly understand why it wasn’t picked up. First and foremost, it wasn’t any good. I probably don’t need to expand on that though I will look for my original character sheets. I'm somewhat hopeful they were lost in our recent move. Not really.

Anyway, there’s my history with the funnies. I know it doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the negative title of this blog entry. It'll make more sense after I post Part 2 which will focus more on what I don’t love about comics. Stay tuned. That sounds about as much fun as reading the latest Funky Winkerbean.

Canned Ham: Columbus Day

In honor of Columbus Day, I'm posting the spam I received last year at Columbus Day:

World isn't round. It's dirty!

I guess I'm not sure why the world can't be both round AND dirty.