Oldies but Goodies

I like old things. Old cars. Old motorcycles. Old furniture. Old people. Explains the whole "retro" part of "Retro Brett," doesn't it? When we moved to the apartment, it was a little sad that so much of our old/old-themed things had to go into storage. I know it's silly but I'm really looking forward breaking open that storage locker. The things I miss most? Well, here's the list.

1. Late 60s/Early 70s Sears Spyder. Maybe our best ever Goodwill find. It’s a 24 inch, 5-speed, glittery pink banana seat bike. It took a lot of effort to clean it up (new tires, tubes, cables, white cable housings, brakes, and a lot of polishing compound).



2. Late 60s/Early 70s Huffy. Another banana seat bike from Goodwill. Smaller than the Spyder. I rode it to work once and my back hurt for days. The wicked wheelies I can pull on it are worth the pain. Again, major cleaning and fixing up involved.

3. Arcade Cabinet. I finished this a few years ago so it's not technically old. It does, however, play a ton of classic arcade games…even does so legally. Each player has a joystick and ten buttons. That’s 28 switches between the two players. With two wires per switch and two connections per wire…sheesh…that’s 112 tiny, tiny soldered connections. Sorry for the bragging. My wife and I are fond of Asteroids.

4. Bookcase. My first attempt at building real furniture. Sliding doors. Low and long. Again, not really old but it's definitely a throwback to Mid-century modern design à la Brett.

5. Drawing table. Not old. Doesn't even look old. Still, I miss it.

6. 1984 Tomos Bullet A3 moped. Serious restoration on this one. I call it the Star Spangler. So lame it's cool.

Canned Ham: Ouch

In my offering of the greatest spam email subject lines I've received, I need to note one thing: I am not correcting any spelling or other grammatical errors made in the text. Sometimes, those errors are the best part.

This one caught me off guard:

You missed your Pain tolerancy test on friday

Yeah, about that test, Doctor…I probably don’t need to reschedule that.

Who, exactly, was the sender trying to lure? Were they thinking they just might reach someone that really did miss a pain tolerance appointment?

Fitness to get the Heart Racing

There's a cemetery across the street from my apartment complex. I went jogging on its paths last night when it was already a little dark and stormy. Is that creepy? It didn't feel too creepy. In any case, it was a great run and I'm feeling pretty good about it.

As a side note, my previous comments about running and the zombie uprising have prompted me to refer to the workout as "going on patrol".

Book Review: Perelandra by C.S. Lewis

First, a note…Perelandra is the second book in C.S. Lewis’ space trilogy. The first being titled Out of the Silent Planet and the third being That Hideous Strength. I have read but have not reviewed the first book. I should but it's been a couple months since I finished it. I would, however, highly recommend reading it.

So, Perelandra…wow. This is a powerful book. Reading it took me a long time—not because I didn’t like it or because it was “slow” but because I could only read a few pages until my brain felt overwhelmed. It’s deep. It’s difficult. It’s incredibly fulfilling. Many parts I had to reread…sometimes because I couldn’t wrap my brain around what was being said but, other times, because I simply enjoyed the story and the writing. After every stint at reading Perelandra, I felt spent. Like I'd been tensed up for the duration.

Essentially, Perelandra is an Adam and Eve story. Without giving away too much, the main character, Ransom, is transported to a “new” planet. There he meets the planet’s Eve. Not only that, he meets Eve’s tempter. The dialog between Ransom, Eve, and the evil one is fascinating and it goes a long way to putting into words the temptations we face everyday.

[Warning: slight spoiler ahead]

I also found it…invigorating, I guess…that the evil one is not defeated (and Eve saved) by Ransom’s human reasoning. No. Ransom, empowered by God, thrashes the evil one. It’s a throw down. A slug fest you might see in Rocky or Rocky II. Probably Rocky III. The fight in Rocky IV is pretty good, too. Anyway, not all battles with the evil one are nicey-nice, intellectual debates. He's the great deceiver and his lies can be incredibly convincing. Don't think Satan will hesitate to fight dirty. It's his forte. But, with God, we can take what Satan dishes out. We win.

Of course, if you read the book, you'll have to supply your own Survivor music.

Goodbye De-Luxe Apartment

Alright! We found a house! Barring some kind of extreme unforeseen circumstances, we should be moving to Fishers within the next month. Interestingly, the place isn’t really what we were looking for. Initially (and throughout most of the house search), we had been looking for an older house. Something with swank. Something with a good sized yard. Most likely a ranch.

What we found, instead, is a newer 2-story house, smack in the middle of a housing addition. We walked through it last weekend and liked it a lot. It worked for us. The price was right. And, even though it didn’t “look” like what we wanted, it “did” everything we needed. We liked it even more after the nearly flawless inspection last week. Specifically, here’s how the place weighed in:

1. It has a tiny yard but there are two parks (one provided by the housing addition and one by the town of Fishers) just a short walk away. We’re minutes away from playgrounds, a place to picnic, and even baseball diamonds. All without me having to mow a baseball field-sized yard. Maybe I'll even check out a reel-style mower.

2. It’s smaller than the house we had before but that’s actually a good thing. We wanted less wasted space and we’re hoping it to keep our family close…physically, at least. Even still, it’s big enough for us, our hobbies (sewing machine, drawing table, workbench), and our friends when they visit. Besides, it’s less space to heat, cool, and clean.

3. It’s newer than we wanted but it’s also more efficient than most of the things we looked at. Newer windows. Newer furnace.

4. It’s on a slab. No worries about a crawlspace infested with mold, mice, or C.H.U.D.

5. It’s in a great neighborhood. There’s a family we’re close with from church whose house we can actually see from our driveway. They truly know their neighbors and, from what we understand, the neighbors are awesome…a real community. They even vacation together. Amazing. We’ve already got planned babysitting nights set up.

6. It’s a reasonable commute for me to go to work. And it’s only minutes from my wife’s job…close enough that, on the weekends she works, I can drop her off or she can ride her bike without our trading cars.

7. The public library is a bike ride away.

8. Close to church.

9. Close to everything else we actually care about…HamCo’s Recycling center, Super Target, Hardware stores, Greek’s Pizzeria, etc.

10. The price was right where we wanted it. The savings puts us a few years ahead in our saving for college and retirement. Enough so that more having more kids is not a financial question. It also frees us to pursue other things that weren’t previously quite as feasible...a lower paying/more fulfilling job for me, maybe more school, adoption, more charity, or even a big project like the restoration of an old car. Add to that the lower utility bills, and it’s a score.

11. The house has been well maintained. The water heater is only a couple years old. The roof was new with last year’s hail storms.

All this adds up to a house that’s move in ready and doesn’t consume either a) all our money or b) all our time. We’re pumped!

Canned Ham

Like most people, I generally despise the junk email that fills my mailbox. So, I applaud the advancements made in targeting and filtering out such spam. Still, there's a part of me that misses some of the mail. That part of me...is the funny part of me.

I'd be fine with eliminating all spam were it not for the 1% of all these messages that actually brighten my day. These elite messages feature humorous, intriguing, and ofter downright confusing subject lines. Oh, I don't open the messages. I'm not crazy. But over the last several years, I've archived the best of the subject lines. That's where this blog comes in. It seems like the perfect place to share this tidbits of humor. I hope my 4 loyal readers enjoy them as much as I do.

Today, I bring to you the subject line that started it all: [drum roll]

Wonderful Dynamic Equity Reportduckling

I received this, interestingly, at a time while I was busy designing many, many reports for work. Anyway, what's a "Reportduckling"? Why are they dynamic? Equity? To all these questions, I answer "Idunno". In any case, here's a nice Report Duckling sketch drawn by a friend of mine.

Book Review: 2 Amazing Stories

Why didn’t anyone tell me that reading non-fiction could be fun?! Seriously, I stumbled upon a couple good reads recently.

The first was titled John Ringo: The Gunfighter Who Never Was by Jack Burrows. It’s the story of a man seemingly lost in not only the Old West but also in popular culture. The biography was interesting in the fact that Ringo has to be one of the most famous unknown people of the west. He shows up in just about any book or movie, that involves the Earp brothers. But, more often than not, he’s only used to provide the perfect foil to Wyatt Earp. In fact, he was a real person...just one that no one really knows. So, he can be written to be whatever is needed to make a good story. Usually these depictions are tainted more by a historian’s opinion of Earp than they are actually representative of Ringo, the man. If the writer is an Earp fan, Ringo is a cowardly drunk. If they aren’t, Ringo is a chivalrous marksman feared by all. In the midst of that, he’s everything in between. In the end, Ringo is still a mystery. But, even while I still feel I only know what Ringo is not, I thoroughly enjoyed the book.

The second book was titled Treasure Islands by Cameron Platt and John Wright. This book follows the search for several buried treasures in addition to filling in the actual stories behind the treasure. I tell you what, those pirates were brilliant and crazy. Some of the ingenious lengths they went to in order to hide their stash is incredible. Amazing engineering, traps, and viscous backstabbing abound. And that was just the treasure hunters. The pirates, themselves, actually come off looking pretty good. I think my favorite account was one involving a treasure on Mahé island. The treasure (still undiscovered as of the publishing of the book) was supposedly hidden somewhere on the island but what makes it interesting are the clues. In various places on the island are hidden clue, one pointing to the next, that loosely follow the 12 labors of Hercules. Bravo to Olivier La Bouche (aka La Buse, The Buzzard) for making his loot worth reading about.