Showing posts with label SimulBlog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SimulBlog. Show all posts

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Money won. Money spent.

I recently participated in a writing contest hosted by the Professional Cool blog. I'm proud to say I won. This is actually the first time my writing has actually paid off and I'm a dollar richer because of it. Of course, I think I was the only entry but that's the kind of contests where I can really excel. In short, though, the challenge involved writing a 200 word story about how bad of a situation a lost dollar could create. My story will be posted below.

What am I going to do with my new-found cash? I'll be honest, I've already spent it. In fact, I spent that dollar plus another two purchasing the cheapest baking sheet I could find at the local super center. I know that seems like a strange thing to splurge on. I mean, I could've been using it to buy candy, soda, or one-eighth of an Automoblox mini now being sold at Target stores (those are...so...cool). Strangely, the baking sheet counts as a non-cooking hobby/art expense as I'll be using it to bake various Sculpey projects. I figured the baking sheet is going to get nasty and gross over time and wanted something dedicated to Sculpey rather than something we'd later want to use in making cookies or something. Anyway, I used the baking sheet for the first time last night in the first round of baking my next project. I hope to complete and post pictures of that project in the near future.

Anyway, the story:


Rod McDurmitt is walking through the office with a cup of hot coffee. Being of the clumsy sort, Rob trips over his shoelace and takes a tumble into a bookcase. Several outdated programming books topple onto Rod and he suffers severe head trauma and extreme swelling around the head and neck. Fortunately, someone trained in handling that sort of thing—we'll call him Rhett—is available. Rhett quickly assesses the situation and springs into action. He produces a small penknife from his pocket and, using his own glasses to focus the light of the sun (pouring into the office via several large windows) into a beam of burning cleanser, he sterilizes the blade. In seconds, Rhett has begun and emergency tracheotomy on his coworker. But Rhett has nothing to use as a tracheostomy tube. No empty pen. No stir sticks (the coffee service is late this week). Nothing.

"Does anyone have a dollar bill and I roll and use?" he cries.

"I do. Just a sec," another coworker, Mavid, responds. There's a pause. "Well…there was a dollar bill here just the other day. I wonder what happened to it."

The story does not end well for Rod.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Canned Ham: Regular Users

This is a very special installment of the RetroBrett Canned Ham How it is special? Well, it's RetroBrett's very first SimulBlog. At the very time this Canned Ham is posted, my friend and fellow blogger over at Professional Cool is blogging about the very same subject. No, not about spam. Rather, he's blogging about the subject of this particular spam. That subject? Colon cleansers.

(America’s Favorite Colon Cleanse Try it Free)

Yes, America has spoken. In a poll of several hundred users of colon cleanser, this one was chosen as the least detestable of them all.

I also like that the subject is in parenthesis. It's like the email is sharing some kind of secret that only the "in people" know.

In related spam, I almost always delete any email coming from the sender Colon Flush. Ok, I always delete them.